Jessica Matibag’s Testimony

When I was young, my mum would bring me to church. However, I never really understood what it meant to be a Christian. So after 17 years of following my mum to church, I stopped doing so. A year later, I met a friend who brought me to church again. It was then that I decided to receive Jesus in my heart as my Lord and Saviour. Not long after, I started serving in church and was excited about sharing the Word of God with people. But routine seeped in and I desired other things more.

When I started working, work became an excuse for me not to go to church. Even when I attended church, my heart was hardened because I felt that I knew everything already. In fact, I was lost and empty. I was just living for myself.

Later, I was given an opportunity to come to Singapore to work. I believe it was God who brought me here because my colleague invited me to her church’s Easter musical. I found it interesting and accepted the invitation. That was how I came to Harvester. Through the musical, God spoke to me personally that He really loves me and He died for me. That changed my heart of stone. I cried as I came to realise how foolish I was to run away from God’s presence just to follow my own desires. That day, I decided to accept Jesus as my personal Lord and Saviour once more.

After receiving Christ into my life again, I felt God change my heart and the way I think. Before, I hated my brother for many years and refused to talk to him because I felt angry that he did nothing for our family. I also hated my father because he used to drink and would come home every night drunk, and that would result in fights with my mum. I grew up wanting to be independent because I felt there was no peace at home and I would rather not see them. But after having experienced the love of God, I felt God place in me a desire to reconcile with them and apologise for treating them with disrespect. Now, I desire to see my family come to experience the love of God and I am believing for their salvation.

God also changed the way I viewed myself. I used to let my achievements and recognition from people define whether I am good enough. When I first came to Singapore to work, I was bombarded with a lot of negative thoughts – “I cannot do it”, “I am not good enough”, “I am a failure”, etc. But I came to discover my identity in Christ with the help of my church family and by reading and living in the Word of God. I now think and see myself differently. I am thankful for the church family who has helped me to grow deeper in my relationship with God.

I am truly grateful that God has never given up on me. He is indeed a God of many chances. I am confident that God placed me here in Singapore not just to work. I am now ready to live in His purpose!